Ways I Create a Loyalty Bind for my Child(ren)
Directions: It is time to take the lead and own up to the truth about your behaviors. Read the following and identify ALL the behaviors you have chosen to act out. Remember that children experience a loyalty bind whenever they are placed in the middle of their parents’ conflict. This will make them feel uncomfortable loving both of you.
- Put an X on the number that indicates a behavior you have exhibited in the past, but you no longer do.
- Circle the number that indicates those behaviors you are currently choosing to do that hurt your child.
- I make negative comments about the other parent.
- I use negative body language or tone when referring to my child’s other parent.
- I allow relatives or friends to make negative comments when my child can overhear.
- I ignore my child’s presence while arguing with the other parent.
- I discuss the character defects of the other parent when my child can overhear.
- I stress to my child how much I miss them when they are with their other parent.
- I say a negative thing or things about someone my child cares for.
- I discuss child support or the lack of money with my child.
- I ask my child to do things or keep secrets that might feel like spying.
- I refuse to let my child take important items to her other home to show the other parent.
- I imply that I am better than the other parent.
- I send child support checks, letters, or verbal messages through my child.
- I make my child feel responsible for my emotional needs. I let my child take care of me.
- I imply that my child is not safe in some way when she is with the other parent.
- I block my child’s contact with the other parent (phone calls, visits, etc.) or us screening methods to avoid their calls.